There has been a shift in the seasons; the mildness of spring has given way to the blistering heat of summer. For whatever reason, this shift stirs a change in the souls of otherwise intelligent men. Call it “rut”, “peacocking”, or “conquesting”, but many of the male persuasion believe that by donning skimpy shorts, they will be able to woo their fellow patrons of public pools and water parks. As we approach this summer season, let us temper our moods by considering some epic June failures.
The Seven Days Battles were fought between June 25 and July 1, 1862. The Union General, George B. McClellan was a principled man, and supported the just cause of the North. A brilliant tactician, however, he was not. He engaged the South near Richmond, Virginia, and over the next seven days lost 16,000 men. General Robert E. Lee pushed McClellan back to the James River, and relative safety. Was McClellan’s cause noble? Absolutely! Did his desire for conquest end in embarrassment? Alas, it did. One can only assume that from that point on, any attempt at ambition was met with a “Remember Richmond” by his wife.
June 18th will mark the 202nd anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo. The French army was led by one of the most brilliant Generals to ever live, Napoleon Bonaparte (though to be fair, he would’ve had to shop for his Speedo in the Junior’s section). Bonaparte’s army was met by two armies: the Seventh Coalition led by the Duke of Wellington, and a Prussian army led by Gebhard Leberecht von Blucher. Bonaparte fought bravely, and was close to victory, but ultimately he lost to a duke from a town named after boots and a guy whose last name makes horses whinny.
Brethren, let us learn from the mistakes of our forebears. Ego does not equate to conquest. A lack of inhibition does not a lover make! Before you reach for that suntan lotion, strap on your mankini, and assault us with your visual crimes, remember the epic embarassment of McClellan and Bonaparte.
Not to worry, however, Provident Metals has provided a way for you to enjoy a summer conquest. We are giving away an MS70 Antiqued Conquest 1 oz Silver Round! Want to enter? Simply tell us about your epic summer failure by the end of the day on June 25th, or lie about some conquest if you’d rather. We won’t judge… The winner will be announced on June 26th.
By unfortunate circumstance I was laid off, It has put my Ag hobby on hold. I have longed to find a hobby that I enjoyed, I finally found one the thought of having something rare and precious, enjoyable and something meaningful for me and the family to hold and enjoy together. though my new endeavor is on hold because of these circumstances I will get a job soon and keep my head held up high. I will win this battle. Ive had many hobbies over the years but this one though new to me I can actually feel and enjoy what I purchased Hopefully it will bring our family prosperous wealth, and the art in these is awesome. anyway I need to get back to looking for a job so I can start collecting more for the future. It isnt great that silver is low and I can not buy but hopefully I get in.
Been trying to book a flight to Hawaii and leave on red eye flight well that was yesterday and here I am today… Still in New York missed my flight I would say that is an epic failure
I frequently take the grand kids to our local kiddie water park. There are sprinklers, buckets that dump on your head, and water slides. The kids light up when they flick water on me or splash me. I was tricked into coming to pick one of them up because they were crying. When I reached down they smiled and I knew I was in trouble, I looked up to find a whole bucket of water hit me in the face. So much for me staying dry, I played like a child the rest of the day!
I received my last silver this week. I was sitting at the table to add them to my collection. I had bought three of each round. I have three grandchildren, I buy one for each grandchild to have after I’m gone. I stood up walked to the other end of the kitchen and came back to find that one of them missing. I set it down somewhere and can not find it. So as of now one child will have to go without one, thinking that Papa did not love them. I will end up rotting in hell I guess.
I’ve worked as a maintenance supervisor at a town home community for 13 years. We had a young couple move out of their home and left the place a wreck. I entered their unit and started bagging up all their trash and belongings to get it ready for the next tenants. I worked all day cleaning it out only to get a call that evening that they had come back in town to finish their move out. I spent the rest of the night digging their belongings out of the dumpsters I had filled earlier that day. Not a great day for the Super!
I was on a business trip with my boss. We’re driving through a country town and I see a coin shop at a strip mall. I said “Cool. Think we could stop by there on the way back?”
She looked where I was pointing and shouted. “What!?”
She thought I was talking about the BDSM shop next to it.
If I’m not working I’m on “vacation”. It’s all good!
In June 1987 I went with 2 friends to catch trout in dam in the hills above Paphos, Cyprus. After a fruitless first day we settled down for refreshments in a local te era. The local policeman asked why we’re in the area. We got talking about fishing. I asked what was the best bait to catch local trout. With the eye of a trout on the hook offered the helpful policeman. Where do we get a trout eye we asked. You have to catch a trout said he.!!!!
Left a 50oz on the back porch overnight. It was still there in the morning though…
I’ve Been trying to go on a vacation for 12 years now I got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer 3 + years ago in remission been trying to get to San Antonio to the S.T.A.R.T. Center to find out if I have beating it for 3 months now got divorced was tolled (she was just with me for survival benefits) and then had a tornado hit my house low balled from the insurance co. fixed that picking up the pieces and will take a vacation sometime this year ??????? thank god I don”t have it as bad as others
My daughter will be 11 years old on June 25th. She was born on 06/25/2006. My daughters mother and I separated when valerie was 11 months old and I’ve been traveling from New Jersey to San Francisco every year to visit my daughter. On June 25th 2008 Valerie was two years old and I flew to California to pick her up same day and travel back to NJ. I had no luggage and no carry on. When it was time for me to take custody of my daughter at the Airport it broke my heart to see her cry for her mother as I was in tears as well. I thought that I could get past that but it wasn’t that simple. On the way to check in she was crying hysterically ” I want mommy I want mommy.” At this point I was sorrounded by TSA security and the Police. I was questioned stating what was my business in San Francisco coming from NJ. I explained to them my situation and we proceeded through check in. When I get through the gate to attempt to board my flight there was a 2 hour Delay. Two hours go by and my flight got diverted to Phoenix AZ. When we finally board in Arizona we find out that our plane got diverted to JFK Airport instead of Newark international. I spent my daughters 2nd birthday questioned by authorities and when it was all said and done my travel time was 20 hours and 50 minutes. I was exhausted, irritated and to top it off my baby girl wouldn’t let me change her diaper in the bathroom while flying to JFK. While on the Plane I got into multiple arguments with people because my daughter kept on crying for hours and hours. This to me was by far the worse experience ever. I am a war veteran and fighting overseas was by far easier than this task.
In August of 2012 I was 25 years old, about to be 26. I had obtained my insurance adjuster’s license a few months earlier and was looking to start a career as a Catastrophe claims adjuster. I had been placed on “stand-by” several times for storms, but at that time nothing had materialized so I had not yet been sent to an assignment. Near the middle of August a storm formed, and it looked like it was going to be a a big one. A big storm would guarantee that I would be sent out to work.
Because I lived in Destin, Florida, I did what we do every time a storm comes; I went to a hurricane party. Mixed in with the festivities of the hurricane party was the excitement that I was going to get sent out on assignment and make good money.
After several hours of drinking, merrymaking, and all of the behavior that goes along with it, my best friend, and I decided it was time to go out to the bar. What better time to conquest, peacock, or be in the rut than when you are 4 hours deep into a hurricane party? Before we could go to the bar though, I needed to run home and change clothes. We got to my parking garage and I got out on the first floor telling my friend to go up to the top level and I would meet him up there after I changed.
As my friend pulled away in his 1992 Caprice Classic station wagon, I decided it would be a good idea to hop on the hood and ride through the garage – I was pretty solidly intoxicated at this point. After a few feet, my friend stopped the car and told me to get off, stating that I might get hurt if I continued my idiotic behavior. I hopped off, but as soon as the car started forward again, I hopped back on. He stopped once again and told me to get off, previous reason for this request still standing. Again, I hopped off, but as soon as the car started forward, I hopped back on for a third ride. This time though, I started falling. My friend, seeing this, slammed on the brakes in an attempt to help me regain position, or at least steady myself. This threw me off of the car’s hood and I landed on the concrete floor. The entirety of my drunk, dead weight came down on top of the right side of my head.
I woke up the next morning in a hospital bed with an Angry Birds sticker on the back of my hand; apparently, I had not been a very happy camper when they brought me in the night before. I spent sixteen days in the ICU with a fractured skull, temporary paralysis of half of my face due to swelling of my facial nerves, and spinal fluid leaking from my right ear, which was rendered permanently deaf upon impact. Needless to say, I hadn’t made it to the bar the night before. My best friend, who called the ambulance, informed me later than I intended to just sleep off the injury. If it hadn’t been for him, I probably would not have seen another day. The ironic icing on top of this massive failcake was that because of my accident, hospital stay, and six months of bed rest, I was unable to work the catastrophe claims that followed that and future storms. Moral of the story? Don’t celebrate a job you haven’t started working yet. Or, don’t go to hurricane parties. Or, don’t ride on the hoods of station wagons. Pick one.
Planted the garden with the kids but don’t remember planting so many weeds! In May we had 15 days straight that it rained. June is a bit better. But the heat and rain make for great weeds. Work from one end to the other between the rainy days and once to the end we get to start over.
Right after college ended one year, some friend and I went south for vacation. As we turned onto the road to the condo, the car shut off. Broken belt meant that the alternator was not turning to charge the battery. Battery died. Had to be towed to a garage 10 miles away and sit for 2-3 hrs. while it was being fixed. Finally got to the condo and had to evacuate the next morning because a hurricane changed paths and was headed right towards us. We spent the night in the local elementary school. Since the condo was located on a thin island, they would not let us back on until they cleared all of the sand that was covering the roads so we went to get something to eat. When we returned to the school to get our stuff, it was locked and everyone was gone. We had to break into the school to get out things. We finally got back to the condo and were actually able to enjoy the last few days. Oh, did I mention that I was supposed to go on this trip with my girlfriend however she broke up with me a few weeks before so I ended up taking my brother. Not quite the same. :o(
I once knew a man from Boston, Mass…..his “nethers” were made of brass…..in stormy weather they would clang together and lightning would shoot out of his…….new antiqued silver coin! Ha! 😉
My girlfriend and I had planned for months to hike a portion of the Rocky Mountain National Park, known for its majestic beauty and ample wildlife. However, we had no idea that during our trip Colorado would face down flooding of historic proportions, leaving us caught right in the middle of a natural disaster.
Normally, early September in the Rocky Mountains features clear blue skies and perfect weather for hiking. Unfortunately, it had already been raining for nearly a day straight when we first set up camp inside the park, and much to our dismay, it kept raining the entire night.
The used tent we bought for $15 at a Goodwill Store wasn’t exactly waterproof, leaving us resting on a small puddle. The temperature dropped rapidly in the mountains, turning me into sleepless shivering heap inside a sopping wet sleeping bag. At least my girlfriend was doing much better. She’s the smart one who brought a waterproof sleeping bag. I knew I couldn’t sleep inside the tent anymore, but where could I go?
The only answer was the Rocky Mountain National Park men’s bathroom — not exactly the dream camping vacation spot I had in mind. Despite the buzzing fluorescent lights and cold floor, I eventually fell asleep until someone woke me up a couple hours later after stumbling upon my sad sleeping form — probably scaring him more than it scared me.
We quickly escaped the campground and rented a room in a hotel in the nearby town of Estes Park. Little did we know that during the night the rain would only pick up pace. The next day, the quaint Estes Park downtown was completely swamped with water, a truly sad sight to see, especially considering the impact on small businesses.
All this flooding meant every road leading east from Estes Park was essentially closed to traffic for days. There was only infrequent Internet and cell phone access as well. Unfortunately, all of this meant we missed our flight back home.
While we thought we had it bad, one couple said the fire department had to rescue them with a zip line after flooding turned their once peaceful stream into raging rapids. Others at our hotel told us that their summer cabin had been completely swept away in the flood, underlining how dangerous Mother Nature can be.
Although the trip was stressful and exhausting, we learned that tragedy can make communities stronger. People picked us up when we needed a ride, shared valuable information and worked together to make it through this epic disaster. In the end, the kindness of strangers was the best part of a bad trip.
June 25th 2005 I left for Paris Island SC, that in its self was a mistake lol. I began a 3 month regiment of all types of training physical mental and psychological, my biggest mistake was taking an extra piece of bread since I was considered a fat body, I didn’t eat because of that plus I had to carry a huge igloo full of ice and water from the chow hall to the range prob 1.5 miles stopping many times I finally made and just when I thought it was over once I put the igloo down my kill hat directed me to the sand box for some I.T. (Makes you do all kinds of physical exercises ) looking back now I kind of laugh but it definitely was a sucky summer that year lol
I slipped on the steps, broke my arm and crapped my pants on my way to the computer to buy more Silver. Try explaining that to your wife.
Left gor a lpng weekend camping trip car broke down hsd to spend my money to get it fixed had to go home a camp in the backyard
I popped yet another towable tube for the boat.
We drove all the way across country for days and days on summer adventure. We encountered car difficulties, had to strap a dead aunt to the roof, lost all our money forcing me to rob a hotel [I actually left a cheque for what I took] and we finally made it to Wallyworld only to find the amusement park was closed for renovations!
Some years back, I had the notion of going fish. Spent quite a bit of money, preparing gear, food, and fuel. Spent a whole day of fishing only to catch a 4″ trout. Catch and release. I have had better luck since, but every time I load up the fishing gear that trip is always at the back of my mind.
Started planning early for this summer’s BIG adventure in the Dominican Republic. Oh, the relaxation of an ocean breeze and no worries man! Tax preparer calls in April about our big adventure, says will be funding the IRS convention this year. What a relief, the government really needs another vacation on my dime.
I’m retired and because I love the quality of the silver rounds you sell ( especially the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse), I’ve taken a maintenance job for the Summer to make some money to buy these coins for my grandchildren.
However, a medical emergency came up and I don’t think I will be able to do than now.
Suppose you took your wife and your dog. Put them both in the trunk of your car. Came back as hour later. Who would be the happiest too see you?
We finally got a week to go to our condo in SC, (Memorial Day week). It is only a once a year chance. Arrived on Saturday got there and it was Hot and raining. Got inside to find the air conditioner was out. Could not find anyone to come repair it until after Memorial Day. So the week went by as it rained off and on everyday, and the sun would peak out just to heat the place up all day.. so on Thursday afternoon they arrived to fix the air conditioner, took all of 1 hour and could have bought a new unit for the price to repair that one, but too late to enjoy the day and it was raining again, had to head out on Friday morning. so the nice Summer Vacation this year was not to be had. On the way home a traffic jam that lasted 5 hours to move only 22 miles, Stopped for dinner and came out to Dual Flat tires on the car, Then got home to find The power was out, (NO AIR again) and that a storm has passed through while we were gone and took down some trees in the yard. Two Weeks later find out that our Credit Card numbers were stolen from a retail business while on vacation.So getting new cards, had to have a watch set on our credit and now working 6 days a week and overtime each day just to pay off all the extras that had to be spent just to take time off from work. Should’ve just stayed home.
My first (and probably not last) epic failure of this summer. I planned on renting a cabin and taking my kids to my old favorite spot in one of our State parks. So, as I went on a booking website, I only found out that there are no cabins available…….bummer!!!
I am very upset that I did not win last weekend’s Florida Lotto, even though I did not buy any tickets. I believe that it was time for Government to redistribute to me. I will complain to the Florida Lotto Commission!!
My family borrowed a jet ski from some relatives for a summer picnic on an island at a nearby lake. Because it was the only watercraft we had, we had to take multiple trips to this island to bring the family and coolers.
The picnic was a success, but suffered a failure immediately afterwards when we hit a sandbar with the jet ski and disabled it. We were stuck on the island for hours shouting for help at distant boats that ventured nearby with no success.
When it started getting dark, we packed the whole family (2 adults and 4 kids) plus the coolers on the jet ski and attempted to swim across the lake. About 2 hours into this paddle push/tow we saw lights of a police boat and were able to signal them to come pick us up. All in all, pretty fortunate ending. On the plus side, the kids got T-shirts from the officers for wearing their life jackets 🙂
For the past 3 years have been taking my kids to New Braunsfels and they love it. Trying to get a good rate for hotel so I booked a couple months in advance and we were looking forward to our week long stay starting July 1st. I have a rare skin disorder so ND Anderson did a PET scan and it revealed I have stage for follicular cancer!!!!!! Nonetheless we feel confident chemo will put in remission but had to cancel vacation and kids are super bummed